How did you become the Nice Girl?
Have you heard this before? You are such a nice girl.
Since you were a little girl you were taught and encouraged to try hard to be “Nice”. You were taught that Nice girls don’t cry, don’t get angry, and they don’t say anything if they don’t have anything nice to say. Nice girls do what they are told.
Nice girls learn to say yes, when they really want to say NO. They learn how to agree, accept, pretend…and look nice.
Nice girls grow up and years later they still act as they did when they were little. Eventually nice girls get married, have their own kids and full time jobs. They still try to please others at their own expense.
Being Nice is something many women are forced to be, not something they choose to be.
They try to be a Nice Girl at home, at work, and with their family and friends… While trying to please others and not to fail to live up to their expectations, nice girls forget how to take care of themselves. Being too preoccupied with taking care of others, they don’t have time for themselves. If you are a Nice Girl, you know that your friends and family members can call you any time when they need your emotional support and comfort.
It becomes easier for Nice Girls to help others then to help themselves. Avoiding dealing with their own suppressed and repressed emotions, failing to fulfill their own emotional, mental and physical needs and their spiritual inspirations, Nice Girls end up gaining weight and feeling out of control around food.
So, why do Nice Girls gain weight?
Because Nice girls don’t cry, they don’t get angry, they don’t say anything if they don’t have anything nice to say… they don’t want to burden anyone. They store and keep their own and other people’s emotions inside of them. Somebody else would turn to alcohol, drugs or gambling to unburden and to comfort themselves. But not the Nice Girl. They can’t do that. So the food (legal drug) becomes the only “nice” legitimate way for them to comfort, to please, to reward and even to love themselves. So, they turn to food to make themselves feel better.
Because when you deprive yourself, when you stop feeding yourself emotionally, mentally and spiritually, then the only “legal” way to compensate the “void” within you is FOOD. This is when food begins to translate as LOVE (COMFORT) in your own mind, because no one can live feeling unloved, unfulfilled, unhappy and deprived.
Nice Girls end up craving comfort foods, overeating, binge eating, eating late at night, thinking of the next meal obsessively, gaining weight and trying to stop themselves from overeating with no luck.
Out of desperation they turn to another diet only to find that they have failed again. Feeling like a failure they turn back to foods, eating too much or too often and craving comfort foods every time they feel stressed, anxious, worried, angry, or lonely… and the vicious cycle continues…
Every woman has a Nice Girl within her, but a Nice Girl shouldn’t rule your life. How do you identify whether or not you are a Nice Girl?
The 6 Psychological Types of Nice Girls
1. The Pleaser – How can I please you? She knows exactly what to do and what to say to make others feel good. She has forgotten how to take care of herself.
2. The Pretender – she says yes, when she really wants to say no. She agrees with you when she actually disagrees. She pretends as if she likes what she doesn’t like. She usually ends up being a bitter, angry and resentful person.
3. The Victim – There is nothing I can do. She lives in abusive relationships as well as abusing herself. Self-sabotage, anxiety and fear runs her life.
4. The Mother – She knows what is right for everybody. She takes responsibility for other people’s emotions and caring for them instead of herself. She is usually the oldest child in the family(an Adult Child).
5. The Little Girl – Usually small and petit. She has never really grown up emotionally. Usually sheltered as a child. She doesn’t know how to live on her own. She needs someone to take care of her.
6. The Spiritual One – She knows better. She believes that the problems in relationships are her karma. And if she continues loving and forgiving, it will all be OK.
If you’re a typical Nice Girl and reading this right now, then you’re one step closer to being that person you deserve to be. Because the moment you stop obsessing about being nice, you start being yourself.
Are you ready to learn how to give yourself what no comfort food, no sugary, or salty foods can give you? Are you ready to learn how to feed yourself with loving, caring thoughts and take actions upon your commitments to yourself? Are you ready to forget why comfort foods where ever important to you?
If you have been a Nice Girl and gained nothing but excess weight, may be it is time for you take control, and become a Wise Woman? Because the moment when the caterpillar thought it was going to die, it transformed into a butterfly.
Stay in touch. We will continue the journey together. In my next article I will share with you how to remove the spell of being a Nice Girl.