Have you ever bought a gym membership, exercised for a while, and then never stepped in the gym again?
Have you ever started a meditation practice and meditated daily until life got in the way?
We have all been there, done that.
On the first day of January 2020 millions of people all over the world have set New Year’s resolutions.
How many of us will succeed? Research shows that only 8% -9%. What are 92% – 99% of us doing wrong?
What if the way we think about the process of change is setting us up for failure? Let’s take a look.
What are you focusing on when you write/announce your New Year’s resolutions? Right. You are focusing on results (lost 15 lb, stop smoking, wrote a book…).
While you are writing or saying your goal for 2020, your mind is sending you some images… images of yourself looking slim, being a non-smoker, looking at your new book…you are in the Trance of the future success.
The only thing when you wake up from that positive Trance, you see your body is not slim yet, you are not free from a cigarette yet, and your book is not here…
This gap between where you are now and your goal starts the negative self-talk. You feel frustrated, anxious and ashamed and more judgmental towards yourself. The vicious cycle is now on.
At some point, you get tired of drowning in negativity… so you stop… you stop what causes you not feeling good, not being your ideal self, .not reaching the outcome … you stop your dream… you fail.
What if you choose to look at the process of achieving your goal in a different way?
And instead of focusing on the outcome for your New Year’s Resolution, choose to focus on New Year’s virtues and values instead.
What are virtues and values? They are your Hero Fuel, they fire you up with unshakable determination and unbreakable motivation. It is the Hero Fuel that makes impossible things possible. This is where your true Motivation comes from.
To find your Virtues and Values ask yourself three questions:
1. What/who is the most important for you? How important is your family to you? To be a great dad/mom? To be a good friend? To be a role model for your kids? To be honest with yourself? To live your passion? To achieve your true potential?
2. What are you ready to do for what/who is the most important for you, for your family, kids, friends, passion? What are you ready to do to live your passion? What are you ready to do to achieve your true potential? What are you ready to do to be the best you can be?
3. If you can picture your own eulogy, what would you want to hear about yourself?
Your answers are your true virtues and values. These are your true Motivators. These are your true reasons to succeed.
Now think about your goal for 2020 and feel good about yourself not because of the outcome, but because you are living your truth and you are in the process of BECOMING your BEST SELF.
This is your Hero fuel and this is what will continue reinforcing your positive behavior.
With some practice of reminding yourself of your true Values- true reasons WHY you are going to continue with the change, you will create self-sustaining mental programs that will move you toward your goals without a lot of conscious effort.
Focus on Being rather than the outcome.
To your success in 2020!